he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
