I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
