ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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