Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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