Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
