I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
