My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
