I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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