So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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