It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
