Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Randomize
