Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I want to fling myself into the sun
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
