i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Damn victory sex feels great
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I woke up under a house in Key West
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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