I heard we made out
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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