well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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