Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
