They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
