Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Everyone says I win the strip club
I want to fling myself into the sun
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
