Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
