My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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