I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
The uberlube is also flammable
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
