There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
