I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize