Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
