Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
