If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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