GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
