Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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