So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Randomize
