They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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