is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
How external is "for external use only"?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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