We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize