my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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