So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
