no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
