This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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