I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
