I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
