Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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