2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Randomize