It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
