we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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