i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Randomize
