Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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