I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
