I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
