Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
