Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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