Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
