Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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