I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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