hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
