hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
