I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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