So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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