If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Princesses don't give blow jobs
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
