We're like a lot better than the average bears
True but thats because hes a fetus.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
