i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
