Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
