He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
