im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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