I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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