TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
